Now that I’ve realized how near the new school year is from now, I’m beginning to get really afraid. I just don’t want to fuck it up all over again. Twice is totally more than enough..

Last night couldn’t have been more wonderful. I went to Los Angeles with a few friends (+ Sam) to see Laura Marling live. We arrived at around 5:30 in the evening, so we had some time to waste, and decided to just grab some ice cream at Rite Aid. Crazy thing was that as we were approaching the entrance, Laura herself just happened to walk out and right past us. We caught her attention for about a second and she smiled. She is so pretty and precious in person! Really lovely. I wanted to squeeze her, I’m not going to lie.

Dylan Leblanc, the opener, was great. He held his own throughout the entirety of his short set, but he was obviously really nervous. Then again, he did say that it was his first time in LA. His nervousness didn’t really matter much though, because he was pretty fantastic every time he just sang. I wish he was more popular; I think he deserves it!

Laura Marling’s set honestly could not have felt any dreamier. I don’t think I would be exaggerating if I said her voice was flawless, because it truly was. She is an incredible performer, and for someone who is only twenty years old, she obviously has a long and prosperous career ahead of her. I can’t stress it enough! She was so, so, so wonderful and I would recommend seeing her live, because I know I definitely will be there the next time she plays in the Los Angeles area. I think it’s safe to say that everyone at the venue felt pretty sad about her set coming to an end, because it was just that good. I knew she was going to be fantastic, but my expectations were certainly exceeded. She’s a really talented vocalist, performer, guitarist, and songwriter. Not to mention the fact that she’s terribly sweet, pretty, and simple! As if I couldn’t adore her any more.

After the show, we hung around a little bit in hopes of getting to see Laura again, maybe even take a picture with her. Unfortunately, we didn’t, although we did meet the wonderful Charlie Fink from Noah and the Whale. Needless to say, we were all incredibly excited and giddy. He was a little awkward, but so terribly handsome! Swoon. Oh, and on our way back to the car, we ran into Dylan Leblanc and got to tell him that he played a great set. No big deal.

All in all, we were pretty much high from happiness throughout the entire night since it seemed to just keep getting better and better. I expected to have a great time beforehand, but it turned out to be much, much better. I mean, when life’s good, it’s really good!

I’ve been looking forward to this day for a while now. Tonight, I’ll be seeing Laura Marling live for the first time and I am nothing but excited. She’s one of my favorite artists; her music is absolutely fantastic, and I’ve only heard great things about her live sets. I’m pretty much certain I’ll have a great time. I mean, there’s going to be great music and great company, so I don’t think I can even complain.

I am a product of dysfunction, but I think I turned out alright. In spite of some insecurities here and there, I think I’m pretty proud of who I am and who I turned out to be in the middle of such a crazy and difficult environment. While I might not always be happy or proud of myself, at this moment, I can genuinely say that I am. And it feels good. I feel accomplished.

Sometimes, my little sister is really cute. Sometimes I forget that she’s only twelve, but I like when she (unknowingly and unintentionally) reminds me that she really is still just my little sister. Even though she is getting way taller than me. Damn it.

Generally speaking, we are a selfish society. We care too much about ourselves and our own interests to accept new things, new ideas, new people. I wish we could be more accepting of one another. I wish we were more capable of saying sorry whenever we should, or even when we shouldn’t. I wish we were more caring, more loving, more affectionate with one another. I wish we were more honest. I wish we didn’t hurt each other so much. I wish we were more open-minded. I wish we were more open to imperfections. I wish we weren’t so damn afraid of imperfections, or what we think or feel is different.

Basically, I really just wish people were less judgmental, because I know it’s impossible to simply not be judgmental at all. I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to take it down a notch, would it? I know I have my own mistakes, my own issues, but if we could learn to accept one another, I think this world would be much more content and united.

But that’s just me.

I honestly haven’t been doing much, which serves as an explanation as to why I just don’t have the energy to fill this blog up with anything lately. All I do is watch movies, go to Disneyland, eat, Skype with my big sister, and sit around on my big, comfy couch. Seriously. It’s not really to exciting enough to share, so I’ve been keeping mum. I’ve also been writing a lot more in my personal journal, which is extremely therapeutic in a way. Through that, I’ve been learning more things about myself and occasionally about other people as well. It’s quite nice but can also be terrifying, considering not everything about myself or everyone is exactly rainbows and daisies. That is the correct expression, right?

On a side note: Inception is an amazing piece of work. It’s so complex, and there is so much to draw from and think about. Not a lot films are like that, especially these days when most films spoon feed every bit of information to audiences. That said, it can be confusing if you don’t follow it well, but it’s certainly the fun kind of confusing. I had to watch it again a second time, just so I can get a few questions cleared up, but I would totally see it a million more times just because. It’s up there next to Toy Story 3 for my favorite films of the year (so far), but TS3 still wins my heart. I’m also open to discussing the movie because it’s so interesting and fun to talk about, so if you’d like to, contact me!

I just want to stop feeling so damn alone. I want consistency. I want a solid group of friends that I can do everything and anything and nothing with. I want to be remembered. I want to be thought of. As we grow older, do things start to hurt less? Because if so, maybe I do just need to grow up and toughen up a bit. I rarely ever even feel like a teenager. Sometimes I’m convinced that my seventeen year old body is simply a shell for the kid inside of me. I honestly haven’t changed much from the child I was those years ago. I don’t know if this is a good thing or not. I just hate feeling so alienated.

As much as I like Andrew Garfield, I have to say, I’m not too thrilled about Sony rebooting the Spider-Man franchise. (I also hear another favorite of mine, Anton Yelchin, is in talks to play Harry Osborn.) Until the third film came along, I was honestly happy and very pleased with Toby Macguire as Spidey and James Franco as Harry. I just don’t understand this; don’t try to fix what isn’t broken, Sony Pictures! Isn’t what they tried to do with Spider-Man 3? Yeah, see how that gem turned out.. Yowza. Anyway, my point is, I love Spider-Man, he’s one of my favorite superheroes, but just because movie companies are running out of original ideas, that doesn’t mean they have to throw Peter Parker along for the ride. I’m just hoping they do the series justice.

I guess last night’s dream had something to do with an extra super superhero, because he was able to choose whichever one he’d like to be at the time. Like, once he was Batman, the other Captain America, then Spiderman, and so on. Pretty cool to see it all in action, even if it was only literally in my dreams. However, I still don’t understand why I’m always in trouble in my dreams. I’m not necessarily the troublemaker; crap just tends to happen to me. I’m always getting chased down by “villains”, while I’m running around trying to get my ass safe and intact. This is probably the result of reading too many comics in my life. I wonder if other nerds have similar dreams. Also, what the supersuperhero and I had to do with one another, I can’t really recall. My dreams rarely make any sense. I suppose it’s like real life in that sense, though my dreams tend to reach much higher extremes.

I’m really exhausted. Unfortunately, I’m short on words tonight, but I have plenty of stories I might just have to share within the next few days, when time will allow me. However, I’m very pleased to say that I’ve been keeping myself busy this week and it’s been pretty great thus far! I’m content. I love being away, out and doing things. Or hell, even just doing things inside at home, keeping myself occupied with random activities. Like classic Disney movie marathons in the afternoon! Just trying to make the best out of what’s left of summer, especially since school resumes yet again in just a little over a month.

The Virgin Suicides came in from Netflix today so that’s what I’ll be spending the rest of my night with. I’ve been meaning to see it for a while now, so I’m excited for some lazy time. I ran around today with about nine hours of sleep in two days! Times like these totally make me appreciate my bed so much more.

I honestly don’t know why I refuse to sleep. I’m sleepy, I’m tired, my eyes are drooping. It might be my sick and strange obsession with watching time continuously moving forward. I’m constantly pushing my limits, testing how much longer I can keep myself up. Or maybe I’m seriously just crazy.

I really hate insomnia sometimes. Most of the time.